Posted at: 11/20/2012 9:02 PM
Updated at: 11/20/2012 9:09 PM
By: Laura Lee
(ABC 6 News) -- In an ABC 6 News Exclusive, Anchor Laura Lee sits down face to face with a Level 3 Sex Offender.
On Monday, you learned what the state guidelines and procedures are regarding these high risk offenders, now, we also learn how one thinks.
"Like when I see a girl and think she's hot and think how would it be feel with her rubbed against me."
This convicted Level 3 sex offender lives in Olmsted County. We have agreed not to identify him -- but for the sake of our report -- we'll call him John.
John looks like an average white male and speaks with a drawl. But in 2001, he raped a 15 year old girl.
"I told myself she was giving off things so it would make it easier for me to do what I wanted to do."
Laura asks, "so, she was someone you knew?"
"Yes," says John.
"What was it, her vulnerability?" asks Laura.
"yeah, that has something to do with it, any situation, sexual situation with adult women is not arousing, not comfortable, its scary," says John.
"With a teenage girl, that aspect is not there, i'm the one in control, I feel comfortable."
Laura says, "you know that thinking that way is wrong right?"
"Yes," he says.
John says hardships in his life led him to do what he did.
"I got to a point where I just didn't care anymore, the thought process was my life is going no where , I messed up everything else up so why should this matter," he says.
He was sentenced to 18 months in prison and was given 5 years of probation under intense supervised release.
John's sentence expired on October 31st and now he is a free man.
"Why do you believe or think you deserve a second chance," asks Laura.
"I''ve genuinely changed, I put in the effort, I don't act upon deviant thoughts anymore, just try to live normal like everybody else," says John.
John holds two jobs and keeps busy with his family.
We did some checking and discovered he hasn't been charged with any criminal activity since he's been released from prison.
Laura asks, "how can you be trusted, granted it happened 10 years ago, but how can you be trusted?"
"I can't be asked to be trusted, I have to show it, I show by my actions just saying i'm going to do this, it doesn't mean anything, I need to show it, because I don't ever want to go back to where I was," he says.
Laura ask, "do you find yourself going to that bad place?"
"Every once in a while," says John, "when i'm feeling like something I shouldn't be doing, I call support people, call my P.O. tell her I need some help," says John.
But what happens now, that you don't have to answer to your p.o anymore?" asks Laura.
"I learned in treatment how to recognize when its coming and to know what to do," he says.
"It's hard today, ten years later, its hard to deal with, I get down on myself pretty bad sometime, I just don't ever do that again, the least I can do is not hurt somebody else."
"How do you live with yourself everyday knowing what you took away from her," ask Laura.
"I wish I can take it back, everyday I say I wish I would have never done that, I wish I could go back and not have done that," he says.
"Do you have children? How do you feel, with children, doing what you did?" ask Laura.
"I feel sick."
Laura asks, "do your children help you stop?"
Laura asks, "if you can say something to the victim, what would you tell her?"
"It was not her fault, sorry, but I know it's not going to make it better."